How I ended up with feather extensions in my hair

Then it started to catch on.  Over the past year or so I started seeing more and more women wearing feather earrings -- and asymetrical earrings.  Then I see Kesha start rocking a feather headdress (and releases an album called Animal -- note: being an animal is becoming cool again..and remember the animal hats last winter?).  And Steven Tyler puts what appear to be dead raccoon extensions in his hair.

So in April, one of my roommates friends are over (female), and one of them had just gotten feather extensions.  I told her they looked good, and she mentioned a recent NYT style section piece on feather extensions.  I'll bet I could rock those, I told them.  They all laughed, yeah right, they said, do it.

I'm not one to back down.  So I did it.

I emailed the lady featured in the NYT piece, Birds of Feather.  My subject line was "Appointment request (male)".  (Just wanted to be clear.)

"Do you do any feather extensions that have a more masculine vibe?  Not Steven Tyler, as you say, but a bit of Native American flavor that would work for a straight guy.  Care to try?"

Her reply:

"Hi John - thanks for reaching out! I have tons of natural colored feathers (black and white, browns, grey, tans, etc) that can totally work in a Jack Sparrow meets Brad Pitt in Dancing With Wolves kinda way."

This was somewhat reassuring -- except for the fact that Brad Pitt wasn't in Dances With Wolves.

So I arrived at Stacey's place.  Yeah, I was a little nervous.  Then she told me that she booked me for a larger block of time than she usually needs because I was, in fact, her first straight male.  Great.

So we picked some out.  I took a pass on the bright pink and turquoise ones and went for some yellows and browns.

For those who are not aware, these "feather extensions" are actually fly fishing lures that women have been buying up from fishing stores all across the country, causing a shortage.  And fly fishermen are pissed.

“For someone to use them as a fashion statement is just sacrilegious,” said Bob Brown, 65, a fly fisherman who lives in an recreational vehicle parked in Kennebunk, Me. He said he had been tying flies for 50 years and this is the first time he had ever heard of a feather shortage.

Sorry, fellas -- I do love fly fishing...but I'm fishing here too.

And?  I won the bet.  The girls admitted they actually looked pretty good.

So I rocked them for the last six months.  When a woman notices and points them out, I like to say: "Yeah, I need them for work."  They don't know what to make of this.  It's pretty hilarious.

They're out now, but I'll probably get a few more.  I looked into eagle feathers, but apparently that's against the law -- and you gotta earn those, and I haven't accomplished anything that would merit those.

Note to men: Don't try this at home.  Performed by a professional on a closed course.  Don't copy this shit.