A few years ago, I was your typical office-worker: stressed out, uneven energy, overweight, and inconsistent complexion. Now I'm just your typical 28-year old urban hunter-gatherer on a quest to be healthy, and having a few adventures along the way. See my full bio.
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According to some, "Woman Up"
According to some, "Woman Up" means this. But I'm guessing you might have seen this before... ;) In any case, I think there might be something to this general outline. I did not conduct a formal experiment, but I did notice a positive effect on my interactions with other people when I was more mindful of these principles.
I actually hadn't seen that,
I actually hadn't seen that, thanks for passing along.
If Socrates couldn't really
If Socrates couldn't really establish the meaning of courage (no answer by the end of Laches), we aren't going to establish what man up means. Clearly, its primary use is simply an insult or attempted manipulation. The complaint that men aren't growing up anymore is pretty well addressed in the Game/HBD/manosphere--its origin is in women who are stepping off the "alpha cock carousel" in their 30s and expect to find mature, eligible men who will accept them as good marriage prospects. Yeah, of course there are counter-examples, but in general I think this is true. Just met one recently moping by herself at a sushi bar. Sad. Anyway, I think the point is that the entire concept of "X-uping" is a distinctive way of dealing with men, so that "woman up" is pretty meaningless. The phrase, in its inherently combative challenge, is not an appropriate response when a woman's behavior has fallen short.
Hmmm, I'm actually not sure
Hmmm, I'm actually not sure that it's appropriate at this stage. Not that I think we gals are perfect -- far from it. But, to my understanding, when someone says "man up", they mean to fulfil an adult duty and take responsibiltity. It doesn't ahve to do with personal happiness or fulfilment. Today, sure, women may not find themselves in the perfect princess relationships. But women are carrying a larger and larger portion of the "larger society" workload -- we are getting better grades in school (right or wrong, just statin' a fact); we are starting to really out-earn men; we are raising families single-handed (again, not saying this is nbetter, just sayin'). At work, all the women are good workers -- we show up on time, never call out and take out work seriously. The guys joke around, aren't dependable, etc. So I know that a lot of readers will prob equate "woman up" with getting better relationships, but it's apples and oranges to what is meant by "man up" - it's not a direct comparison. I mean, the only thinbg where I guess I could say a woman needed to "woman up" is to not let men do the physically heavy lifting, like we should put the new water jug on the water cooler. And again, I need to reiterate that I'm NOT saying that women are perfect. Just saying that we are fulfilling our responsibilities and are dependable in our societal roles. On a personal level, that's a dif story perhaps...
Lose the sense of
Lose the sense of entitlement. Being alive does not guarantee you anything, least of all adoration and respect, until you earn it. And lose some weight, then pull your weight - in a relationship, in the workplace, in your home. If you truly feel equal to a man in all ways, then you must accept the consequences of failure or bad actions as your own and not blame men/patriarchy/the system for your failings. Embracing your quirks does not mean others will, so if you can't live with that then find a niche or change yourself. Don't expect others to change to fit you.Embrace femininity. Dress and act respectably. Do not treat your body like a sewer, and don't let your mouth spew filth. Love your children and your mate, and do not treat either like a burden because it got in the way of your fun or your goals. Everything in life comes with a tradeoff - recognize that and accept that you cannot have it all. Something will have to give, and you must learn to live with it when it does.If you don't think you can stick with a marriage, don't get married. And if you marry then divorce because you've "drifted apart" or are no longer "happy" or you cheated, then by all that is sacred and holy in your world, do not take the man to the cleaners over it. Accept your decision to leave - you're strong and powerful and can have any career you want, and don't need a man...therefore you don't need his money either.Thus is what it means to "woman up."
I've always thought of "man
I've always thought of "man up" as an exhortation to take responsibility and act like an adult; i.e. man as opposed to boy rather than man as opposed to woman. Therefore, in my mind, "woman up" would mean exactly the same thing - act like an adult.
Agreed. The problem, as we
Agreed. The problem, as we can see from some of the responses, comes in the form of societal expectations for how women 'should' act. If taking responsibility means behaving like an adult, that means behaving in accordance with your true nature. Denying one's true nature leads to repression, and repression leads to all sorts of problems. We 'expect' men and women to behave in accordance with societal prescriptions, but what of one's true nature?The only solution, I have sadly found, is to be as physically intimidating as possible. I'm a heterosexual male nursing student that wears a lot of pink shirts and tight shorts and I make no apologies for my love of small, fluffy dogs that I can baby. I'm also a 220 lb former powerlifter that hunts. These facts tend to surface rather quickly when people start in with the jokes. After that, it seems like an honest conversation can emerge. See: "Well, if someone as manly as you is okay with having feminine qualities . . ."But truly, it should not come to that. Someone should be able to dress and behave as they please without having society demand that they conform to their notions of masculinity and femininity. I shouldn't have to cock the guns because people are snickering and suggesting that I'm gay. Unfortunately, to some degree, we do apparently have to force some ideas down people's throats.
"The problem, as we can see
"The problem, as we can see from some of the responses, comes in the form of societal expectations for how women 'should' act."Judging by a lot of the responses here, these folks aren't living in the paleolithic era; they're living in the 1950s. They seem to be hanging on to a lot of ridiculous expectations of what it means to be "a man" or "a woman." For me, being an adult means that I go to work and do the best job I can (which is pretty fucking good), I take care of my health, I take care of my dog, I pay my bills, I maintain my home, I treat people with respect unless they specifically show me that they don't deserve it, I try my best not to fuck up, and if I do fuck up in a way that affects someone else, I apologize and do everything I can to fix it. That's what being an adult means to me. None of that is based on my gender. Those silly notions of "masculine" and "feminine" have nothing to do with adulthood. "Someone should be able to dress and behave as they please without having society demand that they conform to their notions of masculinity and femininity."Indeed.
Soo in agreement. I think
Soo in agreement. I think there's a lot of projecting going on around here: people project their stress from the negative effects of society's expectations on them onto others. Misery loves companny, as it were. I can't, for the life of me, imagine that a woman trying to live Paleo or Primal would be very successful in that regard meeting the classical Western definition of 'woman'. If Paleo and Primal are about optimal living and survival, then forcing people into roles, especially when they've been shown to be destructive, just because they suit some dogmatically simple solution to complex situations, isn't very optimal living or survival-minded. But then again, it isn't just about Paleo/Primal people breaking gender molds: the resistance to Paleo/Primal is just as impressive as the acceptance of it. It changes everything, and people are afraid of that, for whatever reason.
IMO there's definitely a
IMO there's definitely a "misery loves company" element, and there also seems to be this idea that if we don't all play along, the whole system will fall apart. If you look at the second article that John links to, the "Peter Pan" one, the writer jumps right from "these men are spending all their time playing video games when they should be going to college and/or working" to "this is probably the ladies' fault because they want to split the check." I mean, huh? Is she really saying that these guys aren't growing up because their only motivation for acting like grownups was impressing the ladies, but the ladies aren't impressed anymore? It's bizarre.I've never really concerned myself with the practice of femininity, so I'm not even sure which parts of the Paleo/Primal lifestyle conflict with what we ladies are supposed to be doing. I mean I've been lifting weights since 1987, and I'm not even sure whether or not that's "okay" for us to do these days.
I'm imagining the legendary
I'm imagining the legendary Eva T. of Crossfit fame getting in the face of the 'Shit Girls Say' guy and asking him, with a teeth-baring smile, to repeat that for her.
Womaning upwould likely mean
Womaning upwould likely mean act more feminine. This generally means don't act like any of the women alive today. Think more disney princess than Lara Croft. I mean, her simple refusal to so much as touch a dress except when visiting her father's grave (or at least that's what I remember, it's been years since I've watched it) suggests an attempt to "man up". I know I'll likely be flamed by all the feminists but no matter how much you try to abolish traditional gender roles the fact is the very word "woman" is linked to the role of demure nurturer. If you want to be a strong and protective individual then start calling yourself a man.
Funny how people always seem
Funny how people always seem to assume traditional gender roles look a lot like 1950's America. Women did not act that way for the vast majority of the time that humans have existed on this planet. How does your idea of "feminine" benefit a hunter-gatherer family? Or even a subsistence farming family?To me "womaning up" means strength and endeurance, both emotional and physical.
I hadn't realized that the
I hadn't realized that the english language existed in any capacity during hunter-gatherer times.
To woman-up: To multi-task;
To woman-up: To multi-task; to harbour grudges against wrong-doers & vow to seek future revenge; to see the broader picture; to be less violent; to empathise so strongly that often items on the news make you cry; to protect; to educate; to be verbally & mentally dexterous; to create & nurture life, not kill it; to be ruled by your hormones; to have a tricky relationship with your mother-in-law.
If you want to associate the
If you want to associate the term "woman up" with your previous post ("From Venus to Mars: transexuals, testosterone, and the male mind"), then it would be closely linked to taking a step back and looking at the overall picture. That would go back to the idea of women being gathers and, hence, taking care of the home. That includes, but not limited to, bill pay, cleaning, cooking, and fixing any task the home and/or family require. In other words, they take care of the business of the family (or in slang terms, "taking care of yo shit"). Since "man up" is associated with man-on-man combat, then the term works for fighting immediate dangers; hence, why the transgendered male's perspective changed to act fast without thinking. Whereas "woman up" would serve to prevent future possible dangers from occurring, seeing the bigger picture and acting accordingly. This also goes back to another post John had discussing how 80% of the past women left behind modern decendants; the women played it safe and stayed close to home base, which made them live longer and procreate. If all this information is correct (which, honestly, I do believe it has at least some merit), then this links back to women looking at the bigger picture; women try to avoid danger to survive longer. I'm also not like the typical female (I'm raunchy, kind of a tom boy, like to drink as much as the men do, blunt, super low maintancence...like more than most men). But I do recognize that I associate myself with my gender for a reason. Maybe some people have different reasons, but at some point, there has to be some evolutionary perspective to why that is. Also, there is scientific evidence that women and men have different brain compositions. So, there are noticable differences between the genders. There's also a difference between being complete equals and being treated fairly. I believe women should get the same rights as men, because, in a world dominated by men, there needs to be woman influences to give a different perspective and create balance. Otherwise...well...maybe that's why we are where we are today. But I digress. Thanks for posting these topics! It makes for an interesting read.
To "Woman up" would be to
To "Woman up" would be to stop whining about how difficult the kids are are, and decide how you want everyday life to function. What balance do you need between work, children, sex, friends, hobbies, pets and housework? Discipline yourself - if you put new humans into the world, they need to be fed healthy food, experience nature and socially interact without digital distractions. If you take on a job, you need to know how much time you can give it. If you want a satisfying relationship with a male of the species, don´t bad-mouth him and/or other males all day, that just brings negative energy. Woman up now!
1) Be kind and conscientious
1) Be kind and conscientious of the feelings of others... without being a doormat. 2) Quit treating your teenage years as the peak of your existence. That was girlhood; today is womanhood. 3) Stop apologizing for your feelings. Of course, I don't think that "Womaning Up" is quite as vital for women. The term 'manchild' has seemed to bloom in our popular consciousness without its female counterpart.
Perhaps a good exhortation
Perhaps a good exhortation for a woman in labor? Or a woman who needs to wake up several times a night to breastfeed her newborn? Don't try this at home!
Donna, for the record, my
Donna, for the record, my comment was not intended for you. I could not figure out how to post an independent comment, so I used the reply button to post my comment. I chose your comment at random. I apologize if that caused any confusion.
I use woman-up in the same
I use woman-up in the same manipulative way that women use the phrase, 'man-up'.Women claim to hate gender roles. In actuality, they only hate female gender roles. Women don't want to cook, clean, be submissive, etc. But they certainly expect men to protect, provide, pay for dates, earn more money (hypergamy), etc. When a woman does not get these things, or is challenged by a man who asks why he should do those things, women use the phrase, 'man-up' to manipulate men into conforming.Remember when you were little, and friends would dare you to do something dangerous or gross? Refusing the dare would ultimately result in a barrage of manipulative shaming language, such as, "you are a scaredy cat". After your pride reaches a critical low, you cave to the pressure and proclaim, "I am not scared", after which, you shove the bug in your mouth. Your pride has been salvaged, but at what cost? Ignoring the shaming language would have allowed you to keep your pride gauge full and your stomach insect-free.When women tell me to man-up, I ignore them. They have no power. I will not be their little work mule.
*F* wilting flowers. *F* the
*F* wilting flowers. *F* the idea of woman as 'gatherer' to mans' 'hunter'. I prefer the life of being MORE equal partners in the H-G for our family, the defense of the home & those in it, the daily life, etc. Thanks to Paleo, I'm more fully engaged in my life. I think we should all be able, regardless of what business we have between our legs. We just have the added role of birthing the baby groks (my last was a natural birth, weighing 11 pounds 12 ounces, 23 inches long - how's that for woman up?), feeding them w/ our plenty. I've never been very 'lady-like', and I detest ineffectual people, regardless of gender. I'm a woman where and when it counts, for me.